10th March 2018: Sick shaming

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Dear Diary,

I started coughing a couple days after I got back from the U.S., and over a week later I’m still going, but that’s not even the worst of it part for me.

The moment I sounded sick, the naysayers felt vindicated, and didn’t hesitate to add their “I told you so’s” and warnings that it would only get worse.

Here’s the thing… PEOPLE GET SICK… especially when they travel from New Zealand to the West Coast of the U.S. and back within a week and a half. Long travel is stressful on the body, especially when there is turbulence the whole trip, making it very hard to sleep.

I hardly ever get sick working 80 hour weeks, but as soon as I take time off to go overseas… BAM, virus. I was already sick when I went back to work…

I call this ridiculousness sick shaming. You get sick, then people want to point the finger at you and say you brought it on yourself. It makes them feel better about their decision not to chase their own dreams.

Even if I did think that this cough was from working too much (which I don’t), I’d say it’s a small price to pay to start living my dreams by the end of this year rather than in 10 years time (or ever if you want to play it by the naysayers rulebook). It was worth every penny and cough to go to Las Vegas, network with a bunch of equally motivated people, and learn from those who have achieved the things I want.

Stay crazy,

 

Laveena

 

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7th March 2018: Good sick?

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Dear Diary,

Instead of just thinking about my most promising business idea of late, I decided to jump in, start sending out queries, and get the ball rolling! Even the simple act of probing manufacturers for information made me soo excited/anxious I feel a little sick!… In a good way?

There’s also the doubt though… is my idea good enough? Is it any better than anyone else’s? Will it stand out from the crowd, or is my idea just not as exciting as I thought it was? Am I overestimating my talent?

Then there’s the other side… What’s the worst that can happen? I have to troll through manufacturers getting samples on my own dime, potentially waste a bunch of the few spare hours I have, and have to deal with knowing that there are some that will get satisfaction out of my failure?

My rational side convinced me that I could potentially waste my time and money in my spare time, and cop negativity from people regardless of what I’m doing, so I might as well ignore my emotional side and jump in… I’m soo nervous! It’s such small potatoes in the great scheme of things, but I have to start somewhere!

Stay frantic,

 

Laveena

 

6th March 2018: I ♥ Change

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Dear Diary,

It’s only Tuesday, but what a week it’s been!

It has been officially announced that Job No. 1 (my day job) is changing, and I am gradually moving to a new team, which will hopefully provide more of a challenge (always looking to learn more!).

I’m LOVING FASHION SCHOOL!!! I wish I had taken the plunge sooner! We had our first construction class today, and man, soo many ideas, soo little time. There is something about the act of creating that GIVES ME LIFE…. I am looking forward to seeing what will come of such a short course.

I can’t remember if I already mentioned that I have been offered work experience with a couture fashion designer?! (AKA a couturier). Soo very excited about this! Although I’m yet to start, and don’t have a whole lot of time to fit this in, but we’ll see what comes of it! There is soo much about the industry that can only be picked up by working in it. ESPECIALLY in haute couture, which I am particularly drawn to…

Every day, I can feel the hunger to grow my dream empire grow, and with it, my ideas on how to do it. With each prospect, comes more anxiety about what could go wrong, but I know I just have to do it. I know how much it sucks to just settle, so I just need to get on with it and go all in.

I am still rundown, which is a pain because it’s hard to do yoga without coughing and spluttering so I’ve had to take time out. Sigh. At least I am actually getting better… just slowly.
Stay magical,

 

Laveena

2nd March 2018: Reality

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Dear Diary,

I’ve been home for just over a day now. I had a class yesterday that I was thoroughly unprepared for since I haven’t been able to attend, so I have a heap to catch up on this weekend.

The jet lag hit me yesterday afternoon like a ton of bricks, and it was a real battle not to fall asleep on top of my homework. I’m now tired and rundown, complete with persistent dry cough and a coldsore (gross).

Dreams don’t come for free though, and I don’t have time to be sick. I have a 14 hour shift today at Job No. 2, study, and a business idea to crack on with. My empire awaits… LET’S DO THIS!

Stay determined,

 

Laveena

26th Feb 2018: Back to Reality

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Dear Diary,

I have achieved exactly what I came here to do. This sounds like I actually had a plan (I didn’t), I came here to GET ONE.

I’m going home lighter, stronger, more confident, and freer from my own mental blocks and inhibitions.

I’ve made dozens of amazing, talented, and hungry friends which has completely changed the vibe of my social media feeds, and the vibes I am constantly receiving.

I am 100% sure that some back home will have something to say about my restored fire, mindset and drive. That people will tell me that what I want and how I do it is not realistic. I also know that this is because they don’t think it would be realistic for them, it’s not actually about what I am capable of.

How would they know what I am capable of? I barely know myself! I feel like I am only just starting to scratch the surface on the lid I had put on my own potential.

We can all be surprised together when I actually achieve it… and then surpass it.

Because I’m all in on this crazy life, I have decided it, and like Tim Grover says “there is no try, just decide and then do it”.

All aboooooard the crazy train!

 

Laveena

Feb 26th 2018: 10X Growth Conference (Day 3)

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Dear Diary,

Holy shit, what a ride!

The last couple days have been awesome and I learned a lot, but yesterday I felt like someone reached into my chest, doused it in petrol, threw a match at it, then catapulted it into outer space!

It was exactly what I needed.  The summary of what I learned? I am the only one holding myself back from achieving what I am capable of. I feel freer, lighter, and a little unhinged at the same time hahaha.

This morning, despite feeling a little rough from a couple of celebratory vodka martinis before bed, I woke up possibly even more fired up than I’ve been all week! I immediately started looking at my goals with my fresher, less restricted mindset and picked out one to put into action immediately. It was a business idea that I thought I needed to hold off on until I was more business savvy, and had worked on my technical skills. Fuck that. Time to kick this idea pony in the guts!

Stay crazy,

 

Laveena

 

23rd Fed 2018: 10X Growth Conference (Day 2)

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Dear Diary,

Day 2 felt ultimately longer with soo much sales-related information that was well beyond where I’m at in my journey. I did take a lot more actionable value in terms of marketing, branding and getting going with developing my own brand, as where Day 1 was more of a mind opener for me. Day 1 showed me that anything is possible and set the tone for the conference, Day 2 started to show me how to turn infinite possibility into something that I could actually do with my life!

I had pretty low energy when I got back to my hotel room. Part of it was the regret of not starting earlier, part of it was pure exhaustion. I know there’s no point in regretting what I’ve been doing with my life up until this point, I know that it is all part of the journey and how I have had to learn what I needed to know, but it is what it is.

I did grab a couple courses and obviously have more scribbled notes and tasks to chip away at tonight so I better get cracking! There’s no room for more regret.

Stay focused,

 

Laveena