16th Feb 2018: Hello Anxiety

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Dear Diary,

It gradually rolled over me yesterday, like the darkness at dusk. My partner asked if it was all the pressure from going back to working and studying at the same time, but honestly I don’t feel much pressure from all that (yet), classes have only just started and we’re still just being introduced to concepts. Even if I did feel the pressure, I’ve always been a grinder… I can keep cranking until I drop to the floor when I’m levelheaded, but when the darkness creeps in, it’s like moving through treacle. I still do it, but it takes 10x the energy.

Really the issue was a bit of a combination of lone wolf syndrome, and a bit of travel anxiety about my upcoming trip.

The first is largely about how I’ve always felt different, and like I didn’t quite fit in. In the last few years I’ve started to see this as a blessing, and loved being different. I even built a bit of an armour around myself so that people’s negative comments about it just bounced off, which could at times make me seem a little stand-offish, but I was just protecting my own personal energy. I think I have been having such a great time lately, and around great people, and I let my guard all the way down, letting some of the taint in…

The latter is because I always worry that I am going to forget something when I go travelling! And since this will be my first long haul, I keep trying to think of whatever I might have missed! I’m also not great with turbulence so I’m trying not to think about the fact that there’s a cyclone headed our way…

Anywho, life goes on. I know I’m being irrational when it hits, so as usual I withdrew and kept to myself until I finished work, had a mini meltdown when I got home and let the yuck out, and pulled myself together in time for my guitar lesson.

Anxiety is a bitch, but I wholeheartedly believe everything I’m doing is worth fighting for, and worth slugging up the hill until it flattens out into a plateau again. I’m also incredibly grateful for the people in my life who get it, and don’t add to the pile of yuck by making me feel even less adequate for being down about irrational things, when I’m already on the floor.

Stay grateful x

 

Laveena

 

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Soul Sunday: A New Year

This Sunday doesn’t just mark the end of another week, it marks the end of 2017 (how very organised)! 

Midnight will bring with it a whole new year of opportunity, wins, failures and learnings, and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to be a part of it all.

I am so excited for another year! 

Here’s to doing it BIGGER and BETTER in 2018!

Laveena

Soul Sunday: Understanding

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While I always say it’s important to do what makes your heart sing, even if you’re doing it alone, it’s always amazing when someone does understand you. Or even just understands why you did something that may have seemed out of character for you.┬áThose unspoken words can somehow ease the burden for a time.

On the other side of the coin, trying to understand someone else’s perspective, who may have a different opinion to your own can help everyone grow, and it creates or strengthens a bond between people.

So that’s what I am grateful for, and am working on being better at! What are you grateful for this week?

 

Laveena

 

Soul Sunday: Laughter

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It’s 11pm, I just got home from work, but I still have an hour to post this on Sunday so I’m gonna have at it.

This week I am most grateful for laughter.

It’s been a crazy week, and it also happens to be the third week straight working, so I’ve been on the verge of crazy for all of it. Laughter is a huge part of what gets me through weeks like these. Not just humorous giggles, I’m talking great big surprising laughs that sneak up on you, the ones that leave you breathless… that’s the good stuff!

What are you grateful for as you wind up the week and gear up for another?

Stay crazy,

 

Laveena

Soul Sunday: Sunshine (but not too much)

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A few things I have been grateful for this week:

  1. The earlier sunrise has made it a touch easier to be up early. Sunshine always eases the mood! Especially when you have the feeling you’re heading for another scorcher! Which leads me to no. 2…
  2. Mild mornings which make it easier to get outside work done before heading inside to work for the rest of the day
  3. Air Conditioning. I think most of New Zealand must have been grateful for any form of air conditioning they could get near in the last week over the last week or so! I have been well guilty of lingering a little in the cooler sections of the supermarket!
  4. Good taxi driver banter heading into (and away from) a busy day, even if I couldn’t understand all of it
  5. A good book and a yarn to ease bumpy flight nerves

I hope you’re ready for another big week on the grind!

 

Laveena

 

 

 

 

Freestyle Friday: TGIF?

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I’m always curious when I hear someone say TGIF, as if the weekend will always be the best part of the week.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had good weeks and awful weeks, but I’ve also had rough weekends.

My point is, should we be thankful it’s Friday, or shall we just decide to be thankful for every day, each with it’s own highs and lows, victories and challenges?

I know which option I prefer…

Have a fantastic day!

 

Laveena

Day 31: 90 Day Commitment Challenge with Danelle Delgado

The most notable thing about yesterday was how grateful I felt… For EVERYTHING. 

Grateful for my partner, and how far we’ve come together.

Grateful for colleagues I can laugh with during the grind.

Grateful for the painful things in life which have made me who I am.

I hope you’re snashing your goals today,
Laveena